The blog, which says the Slave Leia Fragrance and the Eau Lando fragrance were introduced by Genki Wear earlier this month at the Star Wars Celebration V, also hips me to the fact that they’re $39.99 each. Leia’s aroma”includes floral top notes of white peach, lily, bergamot, heliotrope and raspberry that dry down to a warm sultry mix of cashmere woods, musk and night-blooming jasmine.” Lando apparently smells like “a potent mix of mandarin warmed with incense and lotus flower, exotic woods, dark violet and sensuous musk.”
Look, I don’t know about this bergamot stuff or white peach or whatever; it’s all whale puke to me. All I know is that any chick with a fresh-baked pair of cinnamon buns on her head and the Hush Puppy of a left-wing Navy Seal is packed with so much sexy that whatever she smells like is positively anticoagulant in its deliciousness. If, like so many of your fellow humans, you spend a healthy percentage of your time trying to figure out how to tempt this correspondent into a satin-swathed King-Size of Sin, I’ll just go ahead and spill the secret: about forty-three spirtzes of Slave Leia Perfume — within hours I’ll be following you around with my lightsaber moaning like John Lee Hooker, you dig?
And as for the Essence of Lando? Well. Who could be sexier than Lando, right?