Before I say a word about how hot, built, sweet and kinda sensitive the Gentleman from Texas is, let me tell you that Ron Paul is a right-wing nut. If you’re a right-wing nut, feel free to love him; I don’t give a damn, and I will admit that those conservatives among you who dig Ron Paul are certainly less likely to be be on what I consider the wrong side of absolutely every political debate than, say, you mopes who love his son.
However, because I sweep my business left of center, I wish to address my fellow step-to-the-lefters.
If you’re one of the many liberals who fawn over this irredeemably conservative Congressman because you think he’s a cranky old bastard, you should know that he’s staunchly anti-Abortion, supported the building of a fence between the US and Mexico, believes the Civil Rights Act of 1964 should never have been passed and advocates the scaling-back of American military interventionism by having the White House issue Letters of Marque against terrorists.
Yes, that’s right, Letters of Marque. Does that sound anything to you like handing a guy named Vinnie Fingers an envelope full of $100 bills and saying, “Now, if this deadbeat just happen to get dismembered slowly before you blow his brains out, the Godfather would be very pleased…” That’s the sort of “protection of private property by private individuals” Ron Paul means when he says it. That, and keeping an AK-47 where you can get it if someone tries to jack your flat-screen TV in the middle of the night, I tell ya what.
Oh, and did I mention the new Wonder-Bubba of the Bush-Cheney apologists and the White Guys Who Pay Too Much In Taxes, Rand Paul, the son of the irascible whirlwind? In case you kitten-loving Kumbaya Commandos were planning on dusting off all the nice things you said about John McCain any day soon, the younger Paul’s “Tea Party” Dubya-Zombie views bear no resemblance either to his father’s politics or any flavor of rebellion from the mainstream of the GOP. Like virtually all Tea Partiers, he is a garden-variety Republican embarrassed because Republicans keep getting caught doing nasty-ass things like starting foreign wars and taxing the living bejeezus out of all of us to pay for them — even the rich.
Those echoes you hear, those are cries of “But he’s a Maverick!” echoing down through the time stream from 2012 in Bizzarro World, when you liberals will be tempted to vote for either Paul, and I’ll slap you into next century. Thank God it’s just Bizzarrro World. I haven’t got that many slaps left in me, people.
Anyway, here’s the “hot, sweet, built, well-dressed and kinda sensitive” part. The elder Paul is, in my opinion, plain-spoken and eloquent in many cases when he’s not letting wackos write his newsletter. He’s also dead right on a significant number of civil rights issues.
His views on currency, incidentally, make my brain hurt. It’s some Austrian mojo. Whatever. I’ll work on that part.