The Hawaii Chair

You know those things where you’re not sure if they’re really stupid or the most awesomest thing ever? They’re both, and this is one of the stupidest, most awesomest. I am thrilled to live in a world where someone invents, develops, and markets a hula chair, and sends it out into the world to waggle its hips back and forth with this divinely ’70s infomercial.

In case you’re slow on the uptake, this is an office chair that lets you do the hula while you work. “If you can sit, you can get fit” is the general idea.

This is what the marketeers say about it:

“Use the Hawaii chair while answering phones, using the computer, balancing books or filing paperwork! You can hardly call this work! With the Hawaii chair, it takes the ‘work’ out of your workday!”

…Which I’m damn sure it does. There’s a good goddamn reason why up until now I’ve made it a policy to work at a desk and do the hula at the luau. If I tried to work in this thing while wobbling back and forth, I swear I’d puke my roast pig and poi all over the manuscript of my latest potboiler.

Apparently Ellen DeGeneres agrees with me; she found that she couldn’t even talk on the phone while shimmy-shaking her ass in the Hawaii Chair:

This thing was apparently all the rage in Blogistan about three years ago, which is when Ellen featured it. But somehow I missed it, thus denying me the pleasure of three solid years of almost constant amusement just knowing there’s such a thing as a Hawaii Chair. But hey, why mourn over things passed? Today is the first day of the rest of my life. And a damn fine life it’s gonna be, because now I know there’s such thing as a hula chair!

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