The übergothest of übergoth comic books may be the latest victim of remake fever.
Variety reports that 28 Weeks Later director Carlos Fresnadillo has “signed a deal” with Relativity Media to remake The Crow. What’s absolutely hilarious is what comes after that:
Though no talent is attached yet, Relativity is looking to put “The Crow” into production this fall. Fresnadillo will collaboratively develop the screenplay once a writer is attached to adapt the script from James O’Barr’s comic book series, which has sold more than a quarter-million copies worldwide.
Look…I’m not the sort who rains on anyone’s parade. I mean…gay caveman? I’m on board. Dopamine? Dope-a-ME. Mutants-from-Japan? Word up!
But “no talent is attached yet” and “looking to put The Crow into production this fall” are two statements that go perfectly together in exactly one location on Earth: Hollywood. The rest of us aren’t buying it.
Or should I say that “the rest of us ARE buying it,” because I’m sure fansites worldwide will report this development rapturously as a guaranteed money shot from the man who brought you the pretty-good sequel to one of the 36 greatest zombie movies of all time.
Meanwhile, “signed a deal” means, if you’ll allow me to translate, “ba-da-bing,” “ba-da-boom,” “ba-da-bang,” “He wants to talk.” Which is to say, it means nothing without specifics. Reports like this go out all the time, with vapid empty quotes from executives talking about what hot shit the director they just hired is.
But more about the personnel, for what it’s worth:
Studio CEO Ryan Kavanaugh will produce along with original “Crow” producers Edward R. Pressman and Jeff Most, as well as Apaches Entertainment’s Enrique López Lavigne and Belén Atienza. Relativity’s Tucker Tooley will exec produce, while co-producers include Pressman Film Corporation’s Jon Katz and Apaches’ Jesús de la Vega, as well as José Ibáñez.
What’s really creepy is how Variety refers to Fresnadillos as “Helmer,” as if it’s his name — as in:
“Helmer received an Oscar nom in 1997 for directing the live-action short film ‘Linked’ received an Oscar nom in 1997 for directing the live-action short film ‘Linked’…”
That’s kinda creepy, but then, it’s Variety.
Anyway, in case you are fifteen minutes late to the Goth Parade, the 1994 film The Crow was scripted by two kickass writers, John Shirley (one of the O.C.’s — original cyberpunks, later a prolific horror novelist) and David J. Schow (author of Gun Work, which may be the most violent crime thriller ever written). They did not work together, but consecutively — as I recall, Shirley left the project and then Schow was hired.
It was, as I seem to recall, Shirley’s idea to adapt it from the srsly amazing comic series by James O’Barr, an orphan and veteran of the foster-care system, who wrote the comic book while serving with the U.S. Marines in Germany, to deal with his pain after his fiancee was killed by a drunk driver. O’Barr, from Detroit, made The Crow one of the relatively few comic books, and the adaptation one of the few films, set in that inspiring, evocative, moody and spooky as hell city.