“Gothic Kittens” Are Not Cute

This kitten demonstrates how it's done. This is what it is to not be even a little bit goth. Bravo, kitten. Bravo.

In researching the oh so hilarious comedy bits for an upcoming post on the extinctions of bats, I ran across other cataclysmic animal news from, like, back in April. I may be well behind the Fox News outrage curve on this one, but then, I don’t exactly scour the internet looking for cruelty-to-animal news, since in my house the cruelty is usually committed by animals on humans. Sucking chest wounds from late-night drive-by biscuitings, anyone? Check. Squooshy cat poop in the slippers one fine August morning? Check. Enough Friskies vomited on the computer keyboard to feed every stray cat in Boise? Check.

Anyway, a woman in Pennsylvania was given house arrest for selling “gothic kittens” over the internet. Why were they gothic? Because she had pierced them. I will not disgrace the hallowed pages of a family publication like Techyum by posting the picture that’s been flitting around of one of the poor things with its ears pierced; that would be sort of like publishing a phonecam shot of a bartender who’s just been beat up by the Hells Angels with the caption “HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW!” which is about what roughly half the commentary on this case seems to be. But if you want to read the story, it’s here, and a Googling of “pierced gothic kittens sold on internet” will get you all the pictures of one unhappy black cat that your pulsating heart desires.

As I was sayin’ about the thoughts of the public on this case: with their usual brilliance and insight, “commenters on the internets” have pointed out that we band, tag, pierce, castrate, slap around and generally abuse livestock all the time, and then eat their steaming flesh; how is this any different? My view is that inhumane treatment of farm animals does not justify the staple-gunning of companion animals to amuse you, Natasha, especially in the sacred name of Gothdom.

I’m sure Temple Grandin‘s on my side, which generally speaking is my litmus test for all my opinions.

Photo above, Public Domain, from Wikipedia, with modifications by the Techyum Goth Fairy.

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