At breakfast yesterday, sweet Sean Bonner told me about the ready-to-wear edition of the Bill of Rights, perfect for all American travelers who want the assurance of having access to their rights at all times, printed neatly on a sturdy metal card. Especially when passing through metal detectors in airports, government agencies, and so forth — at which point you should make a note to surrender those rights to the nearest change, watch and jewelry basket. The EFF has a version (money for a good cause, hopefully no one we know, etc), but I’m particularly drawn to the Security Edition version, for reasons as described,
Highlighted in red is the extremely controversial fourth amendment; the “search and seizure” amendment, which makes much of law enforcement so difficult. The Bill of Rights – Security Edition is available for purchase as a Single Card, the Trinity Pack of Three Cards or the wildly popular Five Card Frequent Flier Pack.
You may take the Bill of Rights – Security Edition with you the next time you travel by air. When directed to, however, please cooperate with the courageous men and women of the TSA, and quickly toss your rights in the convenient plastic bin provided for your use at no extra charge. Please do not hold up the line and delay other passengers. It’s best for you and your fellow citizens if you listen closely and follow instructions. Once you’ve been searched and cleared by the busy agents, your rights will be returned to you.
If the rights are somehow misplaced or confiscated, please be aware of other travelers behind you who may want to get to their gate and would appreciate your haste. The faster you get through the security checkpoint, the more time you may have to have a cocktail at the airport bar and watch the game or discuss politics. You chose to travel with the Bill of Rights – Security Edition. Any difficulty you are having was brought upon by yourself. You can’t expect to be treated any differently than anyone else. It wouldn’t be fair. Remember: it’s the sense of collective cooperation and camraderie which defines true citizenship in our great country.