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It was a day like any other. A Google Street View Camera Car was cruising around the dull streets of a town in the UK – taking photos of the road and sucking down ur sekrits on ur open wif bandwidthz.

But unbeknownst to the hapless driver, the all-seeing-eyes of Google had just snapped a 10 year old girl lying dead in the street. Yes, shock horror… unable to stand the dearth and dreariness of Middle Road in Worcester, UK it had all got to much for the poor infant. Perhaps her untimely demise had been accelerated in the knowledge that her parent’s open-wifi was being recorded by Google, and her addiction to Hannah Montana episodes that she downloaded via bit-torrent would no-doubt be discovered.

It was clearly all to much for her.

Except, that it wasn’t. Oh no, dear reader… we’re told by the local rag, the Worcester News (Midlands newspaper of the year, no less) that the little scamp was simply “playing dead”.

And as you can see from the otherwise empty street, she was playing dead all on her own. Seems odd, but then don’t forget many great people have been known to play dead on their own – some just with tragic consequences in a Bangkok hotel room.

Almost a year ago, Qik made me one of their sponsored livestream videobloggers, but between the phone and working out the bugs, it made live videoblogging from the phone spotty. Now, Qik has tightened up their (free) service and it’s seriously versatile and easy to use — and I got my hands on a brand new Nokia N95-4. It’s a hell of a gadget, and now that it’s out of the box I can’t stop playing with it and it’s never, ever far from reach. And I know I’m not even maximizing it.
I’ll get this out of the way: I have a phone from Helio (an Ocean) and that’s my trusty phone, with a qwerty keyboard and extremely reliable everything; I’ve had 3G for years, my friends. So the N95-4 isn’t quite going to replace my Ocean — but if the Nokia had a qwerty keyboard, it would in about .00006 seconds. On the Nokia I will read your email and enjoy the experience very much. But on the Ocean I’ll respond. Yes, there are other Nokia phones with keyboards: but you say, the E71. Yes, it’s lovely, but it only shoots 15fps video, and that just won’t do.
After charging the N95, the first thing I did was turn off all sounds and get to work. In just a few minutes, I went to “Web”, and downloaded and installed Gmail, Google Maps, and my Qik. I found it unfortunate that the phone’s default search is Yahoo, but without qwerty I won’t *exactly* be blogging from the phone, so I don’t really care. Then I went into the menu>tools>settings>general>personalization>standby mode and changed the “shortcuts” and “active standby apps.” In here, I changed the phone’s desktop icons to Gmail, Google Maps, and other things I’ll want with one click, and I changed the right and left softkey buttons to be Qik and “camera”.
Next, I went into gallery>open online service and it already had Flickr installed; I just entered in my information and activated it. Now when I take a photo (it’s got a 5mp camera, Carl Zeiss lens, with 8G storage and 5M photos size), I click once and it uploads the big, sharp photo to my photo stream — quickly, with the 3G.
So I can press one button from the interface and open the Qik livestreaming app — that’s neat. I’m ready to shoot live video in a few seconds. Qik has integrated with a lot of other online services; when you get a Qik account, you can do what I did and link it to my Twitter, YouTube and 12seconds account (there’s more, but that’s what I’m using right now). So far everything works except the 12seconds integration; when I livestream to Qik, an automatic message (that I customized in my Qik account) is sent to my Twitter stream, and the video is simultaneously uploaded to my seldom used YouTube channel. Here’s a Qik video with the Nokia:

A couple people have raved about the high quality of my phone-to-Qik videos (and they look great; in video ‘settings’ make it high quality and put steady shot ‘on’). But I know that the phone is capable of better video than the 320×240 Qik default, and I really love 12seconds — and the integration not working really isn’t my problem. And I’m impatient.
So I set up the phone’s mailbox, which with Gmail was actually an unbelievably complicated pain in the ass. Fortunately, this is not a road less traveled. Once that was set up, I noticed that when I took a photo or shot a video (not in Qik, just with the phone), when I hit “send” I now had an email option — but no contacts. To keep it simple, I put in two contacts: my Flickr email posting address (find it in your Flickr account), and my 12seconds email posting address (it’s in your 12seconds account). Now when I shoot a high quality video with the Nokia’s nice camera, I can hit “send”, pick Flickr or 12seconds, and it’ll upload my video to either service. Three or four clicks. Here’s a too-dark, dorky test video I shot and sent to Flickr:

So now if someone confiscates my phone for shooting video of say, a BART police shooting, the video will be in so many places already it won’t matter. But mostly, I’m now frighteningly agile with live media and feel like having fun. I also made some physical modifications to the phone:

Instead of a kewt fob, I sacrificed my girly style for a practical camera strap.

I placed a thin strip over both the red ‘record’ light and the flash. There is unfortunately no way to set the phone’s camera default to “flash off” and I do not shoot with a flash. Plus, the red light is something people find intimidating; if I simply tell people they’re about to be on video, and then say okay, they’re a lot more relaxed than the visible cringe I see when the red light goes on and everyone poses and doesn’t know what to say anymore. Well, anyway, that’s my story and I’m sticking to it. So there.
I love it. I won’t leave the house without it. And like I said, if it had qwerty, I’d use it as a phone. And probably also as a portable computer: add Google Docs and my blog via the web browser, and I’d be invincible.
For those of you with unboxing fetishes, the unboxing photos are after the jump. Here are a couple of photos from the Nokia:

Read more…

One of my biggest irritations about gadget blogs and things like CES is that they always write about and show you all these cool phones and cameras and gadgets, but the golram gadgets don’t even exist yet, or might be out sometime in 2012, are a designer one-off, or are so expensive I feel stupid for even reading about them. I get all angry and green and then grrr, argh, someone gets hurt. Usually me, because my head is softer than the Cinema Display.
But — Engadget’s got me on this one. It looks like sometime in the not-too-distant future (not quite Serenity time frame), a couple of Olympus Micro Four Thirds cameras are going to be released. And they’re going to look as sexy as the above photo I stole from Engadget (who has the details). It may possibly even look this fucking sexy/cool. The thing about them that’s really making me go goo and gaahh is the changeable lenses (I am a wide-angle ho), and the micro four-thirds format ditches the internal mirror and prism while maintaining a DSLR-sized sensor. Meaning, it’s near a super-fancy expensive big camera in quality, but will fit in my purse and not be all big-lens, paparazzi-like intimidating.

Dear [Deity],
I know I’ve never prayed (except that one time when I was nine). I’ve never worshiped, I’ve sure done a lot of sinning, have no plans to stop anytime soon, and actively seek rules, laws and taboos to lap-dance until broken in the most unwholesome of ways. Especially with tech toys.
But things are different now. Or, depending on the deity that answers this call for HD salvation, things can get a lot more… efficient. And adorable.
Flip now has a full line of Hello Kitty branded Flip Mino ($179.99) and MinoHD ($179.99) cameras — four full pages of kewt cameras that make a girl just want to do about anything to get her hands on one. They’ve got pretty much every character in a variety of designs, and the stars of the Goth Hello Kitty scene: Hello Kitty baroque LUXE, Bad Batz Maru, Chococat and Kuromi Evil Giggle. If there ever was a reason to have the big bad want for a Flip, this is really doing it for me.
With techlusty head bowed in Hello Kitty Flip Mino HD reverence,
Violet
(thanks, Sean!)

Looking over this detailed, researched list of 10 Fascinating Last Pictures Taken is a fairly intense experience: after all, it’s a “top ten” of the last photos ever taken of either a dead celebrity, or someone who died in a major catastrophe and their last photos were provided for public record. The last photo of Marilyn Monroe is bittersweet; the last photo of Princess Diana is heartbreaking and filled me with anger. Others are like the one above: #6 photographer Bill Biggart: it’s the last photo that came from his one digital camera before the second tower fell on him at the Twin Towers, 9/11. Listverse explains,

Photojournalist Bill Biggart was covering the events of September 11th and was tragically killed as the second tower of the World Trade Center came down. Four days later Biggart’s body was recovered from the rubble and his personal effects, including his cameras were given to his wife. Biggart’s widow later handed over the camera bag to a good friend and fellow photographer. She was convinced that no pictures had survived because the falling debris had blown off the backs of the two film cameras and the lids of the film canisters had been peeled back. His friend turned his attention to the digital camera that was covered by ash. The lens had been sheared off but when he opened the chamber that held the flash card he discovered it was in pristine condition. The card contained 150 pictures including the last picture taken shown above which is time stamped 10:28 am and 24 seconds. The time was 10:30am when the second tower came down.
Interesting Fact: When Biggart’s wife reached him on his cell phone shortly after the first tower fell. He told her not to worry, and would meet her in 20 minutes at his studio. “I’m safe,” he assured her, “I’m with the firemen.” It was the last time they ever spoke. About 20 minutes later, the second tower collapsed. (…read more, listverse.com)

I hate xmas. I have no family and everyone leaves town. It’s stoopid. But one thing has a smile on my face about the dread and drunken cynical/asinine/pornographic blogging that lies ahead for me over the next 30 days — Ars Technica has ALL nerdy ass seriously kicked with their Ars Staff Gift Guide 2008. It’s a pretty lengthy guide, but it’s the *bomb*. Or, the Cylon, depending on how you slice it. I want every single thing on their list…
Only one thing really needs to be said so you understand the gravity of this uber-list: CAT CAM.

If this post isn’t too covered in drool, I’m not accurately conveying how badly I want a Flip MinoHD, especially after reading (and watching) David Chartier’s terrific, in-depth review of it over at Ars Technica. I really wish I could review this sweet, sweet looking toy… It’s $230, available on Amazon, charges via USB and the reviewer had no battery life complaints at all, it comes in a sexy glossy black finish (though is customizable), and looks like the ultimate holiday gift. Snip:

If you’ve used a point-and-shoot camera, the Flip MinoHD should seem at least familiar, though the MinoHD is held in a vertical, portrait format versus most cameras’ landscape. With the same 3.94″ x 1.97″ x 0.63″ dimensions and 3.3 ounce weight as its older Flip Mino (SD) brother, the Flip MinoHD is noticeably smaller and lighter than previous non-Mino generations. It is also roughly the same size and shape as many point-and-shoot digicams, though a bit thicker by today’s standards.
Sporting an integrated lithium-ion rechargeable battery, a 1.5 inch display, and 4GB of internal, non-expandable memory (providing 60 minutes of 720p HD footage at 30 fps), the Flip MinoHD is significantly smaller than competing pocket camcorders. Kodak’s Zi6, by contrast, runs on AA batteries, has an expandable SD slot that supports up to 32GB, can shoot 640 x 480 stills, and features a larger 2.4 inch display, but weights in at 3.8 ounces and is a bit larger at 4.5″ x 2.5″ x 0.9″.
It should also be noted that, like the original Mino, the Flip MinoHD can be customized with a number of styles available at Pure Digital Technologies’ website, or you can upload your own image if you’re really gunning to destroy your resell value. My test model was the base gadget black design with silver trim, however, cuz that’s how we roll.
The most noticeable thing about the Flip MinoHD right out of the box is that it is light. Extremely light. I admittedly haven’t used other pocket camcorders, but after touting around Canon Elph point-and-shoot cameras with metal enclosures for the last few years, the MinoHD’s closed, plastic design and rounded edges feel comfortably light in my hand. (…read more, arstechnica.com)

It’s making the blogrounds, but it’s just too incredible not to mention here: artist Wayne Martin Belger has taken a 150 year old skull that once sat on the head of a 13 year old girl and has transformed it into the spookiest art concept imaginable: it’s an old-fashioned, pinhole camera, and it’s decorated in aluminum, titanium, brass, silver, and various unspecified gemstones. pt writes, “Light and time enters at the third eye, exposing the film in the middle of the skull.” See more images of the beautiful skull, a 360 view of it, and the creepy pictures it takes at Belger’s site. (thanks, Jonathan Moore! also seen @)

Image via.
Justin Quinell, master of the pinhole camera and inventor of the notorious SmileyCam, now offers his DIY technology to the world. You can now purchase a SmileyCam or The Pin Cam Camera home darkroom kit, which includes “a beer can pinhole camera (personally emptied by the artist!).”
Boing Boing reports on some very sad news:

Lady Jaye Breye P-Orridge, wife of industrial music pioneer Genesis P-Orridge and member of Psychic TV, died of heart failure on Tuesday. Lady Jaye and Genesis were in the midst of an ongoing life-art project to make them look more alike through matching breast implants, haircuts, and other body modifications. The aim was to merge their identities to create a single “pandrogynous” being, Breyer P-Orridge.

Goodnight Lady Jaye.

Image via.

With apologies to Walter Benjamin and Peter Kropotkin.
This is really just a shopping list for the alien germ wars to come because just keep shooting things into space to see how they kill us when they return (insert tinfoil hat here).
To begin with, you will need a vehicle. You could go with the stylish G.I. Joe variety as discussed here, but I know that many of you are on a budget, so a foam and woodchip Humvee should do the trick, unless you encounter model glue or fire. Just think of all the different stains and finishes you could use.
For housing, I always recommend available missile silos and for those days at the office, the PET bottle armor should work nicely. You’ll need lots of little spy cameras as well as some sort of (homely) death ray, or perhaps something using antimatter.
Watch out for the drones, who will be battling against you as well. pew pew! pew pew!