techyum ::

The Vampire Cafe.
Yes, it’s another list, and leaves much to be desired in the way of detail, but it’s way too fun not to show you. Yesterday the Guardian UK quickly posted then buried the great list, Tokyo’s theme restaurants based on the just-released Michelin list of quirkiest restaurants. Personally, I’d rearrange the list with the Vampire Cafe at the top — complete with coffin dining, bloody cocktails and full-on Dracula’s lair detail. Next being the prison restaurant which is nearly a Kink.com experience — but weirder. At Alcatraz ER Restaurant (which I managed to find this mini-gallery, OMG the atmosphere!), because of my unique obsessiveness gifts, you get a choice of seemingly nonconsensual dining tortures. Guardian writes,

The setting is a “medical prison”. You are the patient. The waitresses are dressed as the type of nurses that exist only in Benny Hill re-runs. They handcuff you, pretend to inject a giant needle into your rear, and then lock you in a cell. There, you can order such dishes as Dead Chicken (in which two chicken feet are clasped together in peaceful repose), Penis Sausage (in which a sausage is carved to resemble a severed penis) and Intestine (another sausage, and sort of odd considering that you can order actual intestine in any of Tokyo’s zillion yakitori restaurants). Try the cocktails: the false teeth in a jar has particular bite. Occasionally, the staff will “accidentally” open your cell door and it’s your mission to go screaming around the restaurant in a wheelchair evading the outstretched hands of other prisoners. (… read more, guardian.co.uk)

See also: Alcatraz ER images on Flickr; a few Vampire Cafe images are also on Flickr.

I hate xmas. I have no family and everyone leaves town. It’s stoopid. But one thing has a smile on my face about the dread and drunken cynical/asinine/pornographic blogging that lies ahead for me over the next 30 days — Ars Technica has ALL nerdy ass seriously kicked with their Ars Staff Gift Guide 2008. It’s a pretty lengthy guide, but it’s the *bomb*. Or, the Cylon, depending on how you slice it. I want every single thing on their list…
Only one thing really needs to be said so you understand the gravity of this uber-list: CAT CAM.

Just in case you were wondering, there is this post from a gentleman named “mind_fucker” over at Fetlife, a fetish-BDSM social networking site:

“Being that there are over a thousand groups on this site, I am just putting it out there that the fans of Jimmy Buffett are some KINKY folks who love to have a good time…If you are a fan, there is a group here called kinky parrotheads, come join us and perhaps we will have a margarita soon…fins up!!!”

I know you are all chomping at the bit to join the group. You will need to join Fetlife first.

You will not see me over there, however; I am not a “parrothead,” even if Mr. Buffett did allegedly take 100 doses of ecstasy to St. Tropez and collaborate on a musical with Herman Wouk that played for six weeks in Miami, called Don’t Stop the Carnival. I’m not making this up. Could I make this up? Granted, if Mr. Buffett did not exist, it would become necessary to invent him… but, thank Providence, he does exist.

I will admit I am tempted to like anyone with a song called Why Don’t We Get Drunk and Screw, but it’s a passing temptation; when I become inebriated enough I do occasionally play and sing Buffett’s Were You Born An Asshole (Or Did You Work At It Your Whole Life). But “Kinky Parrotheads?” My regrets, “mind_fucker.”

Image of Mr. Buffett, public domain from from the US Navy, via Wikipedia.

There is a fascinating story in the New York Times about the politics of China’s Xinjiang Uighur’s Autonomous Region, as seen through the exhibiton of the more than 200 “Tarim mummies” from the area. The Chinese government faces a separatist movement of the Uighurs or Uyghurs, a Muslim people who speak a Turkic-Altaic language. The Chinese government claims that the region, which lies in Central Asia in the far West of China, was first settled by people from the Chinese interior. Most scholars think the Uighurs ended up in Xinjiang in the 10th Century.

But the oldest mummies, which date back to the early 2nd millennium BCE, appear to indicate that the first settlers of the area were, in fact, from the steppes further to the West. The Tarim mummies have become a symbol of Uighur pride, and there’s even a nationalistic pop song about one of them, the “Loulan Beauty,” a female mummy of which the Times says “her high cheekbones and long nose the most obvious signs that she is not what one thinks of as Chinese.” Other data seems to indicate that the early settlers of the region were from actually from all over the place — that, situated on the Silk Road, Xinjiang was a melting pot.

The Chinese government, as it turns out, “has been unwilling to give broad access to foreign scientists to conduct genetic tests on the mummies,” since the question of who first settled Xinjiang is perceived as lending credence to one side or the other in the struggle for political control of the province.

Image: Tarim Mummy, photographed by Aurel Stein circa 1910, from Wikipedia.

Am I a bad, bad man for laughing at the story of Kyle Drinkwine at The Smoking Gun? Don’t answer that. Just sing along.

“Meet Kyle Drinkwine. The Wisconsin man, 24, allegedly became so incensed by a lackluster karaoke performance of a heavy metal song that he assaulted the singer and a second man, police charge. According to a River Falls Police Department report, Drinkwine throttled singer James Mischler, 28, and his friend Cyrus Kozub, 29, “over one’s ability to sing karaoke.” Though cops did not specify which song set Drinkwine off last week, Kozub told TSG that Mischler was performing “Holy Diver,” the title cut on Dio’s 1983 debut album (the band is fronted by Ronnie James Dio, the former Black Sabbath lead singer). [In a subsequent interview, Mischler told TSG that when Drinkwine and some cronies started heckling him, he responded with a putdown about the “big gaudy crucifix” worn by Drinkwine. “I told him he should find a better vending machine for his jewelry,” Mischler recalled, adding that the comment angered the heckler, who himself had earlier performed an Eminem song.”

I remember hearing about this kit a while back; it’s a vampire killing kit from the 1800s, and it just fetched a whopping $14,850 in the Jimmy Pippen estate sale by Stevens in Natchez, Mississippi (full story; Stevens sold one previously in 2000, that went for $7,800). Similar to the ones sold at Sotheby’s a few yeas back for $12K and $20K, though apparently not an imitation like the ones that popped up on eBay in the aftermath (here’s another example). The Stevens kit — like other authentic ones — contains “stakes, mirrors, a gun with silver bullets, crosses, a Bible, holy water, candles and even garlic, all housed in a American walnut case with a carved cross on top” among other things, and came from a personal residence collection. Also seen at Neatorama in a quickpost, but would go perfectly with Neatorama’s other quickpost about blood spattered dining room furniture. Or, *anything* in my house. (Thanks, Eve!)

If this post isn’t too covered in drool, I’m not accurately conveying how badly I want a Flip MinoHD, especially after reading (and watching) David Chartier’s terrific, in-depth review of it over at Ars Technica. I really wish I could review this sweet, sweet looking toy… It’s $230, available on Amazon, charges via USB and the reviewer had no battery life complaints at all, it comes in a sexy glossy black finish (though is customizable), and looks like the ultimate holiday gift. Snip:

If you’ve used a point-and-shoot camera, the Flip MinoHD should seem at least familiar, though the MinoHD is held in a vertical, portrait format versus most cameras’ landscape. With the same 3.94″ x 1.97″ x 0.63″ dimensions and 3.3 ounce weight as its older Flip Mino (SD) brother, the Flip MinoHD is noticeably smaller and lighter than previous non-Mino generations. It is also roughly the same size and shape as many point-and-shoot digicams, though a bit thicker by today’s standards.
Sporting an integrated lithium-ion rechargeable battery, a 1.5 inch display, and 4GB of internal, non-expandable memory (providing 60 minutes of 720p HD footage at 30 fps), the Flip MinoHD is significantly smaller than competing pocket camcorders. Kodak’s Zi6, by contrast, runs on AA batteries, has an expandable SD slot that supports up to 32GB, can shoot 640 x 480 stills, and features a larger 2.4 inch display, but weights in at 3.8 ounces and is a bit larger at 4.5″ x 2.5″ x 0.9″.
It should also be noted that, like the original Mino, the Flip MinoHD can be customized with a number of styles available at Pure Digital Technologies’ website, or you can upload your own image if you’re really gunning to destroy your resell value. My test model was the base gadget black design with silver trim, however, cuz that’s how we roll.
The most noticeable thing about the Flip MinoHD right out of the box is that it is light. Extremely light. I admittedly haven’t used other pocket camcorders, but after touting around Canon Elph point-and-shoot cameras with metal enclosures for the last few years, the MinoHD’s closed, plastic design and rounded edges feel comfortably light in my hand. (…read more, arstechnica.com)

I’ve seen — and experienced — tequila fuel transformations of varying kinds (most of which hurt a lot the next day), but it looks like Mexican scientists have figured out how to turn the spicy liquor into crystal structures that are identical to diamond. Tequila diamonds; so very cool. Death in the diamond mines, not so much anymore — just look out for the girls dancing on the lab tables after a few samples go missing from the bottle. Snip:

(…) The surprise use for the national tipple emerged when researchers at the National Autonomous University experimented with making ultra-thin films of diamond from organic solutions, such as acetone and ethanol. The mix that worked best, 40% alcohol and 60% water, was similar to the proportions used in tequila.
Diamond films are extremely durable and heat resistant and can be used to coat cutting tools. By carefully adding impurities to the films, it is also possible to make diamond semiconductors for use in electronic circuits.
Luis Miguel Apátiga, a member of the team, brought a bottle of cheap tequila into the lab to see if it could be turned into diamond. When he heated a shot to 800C it vaporised and broke down into its atomic constituents, producing a fine layer of carbon on nearby metal trays.
Close examination of the films at high magnification revealed that the carbon had formed into crystal structures identical to diamond. Each was around one thousandth of a millimetre across. (…read more, guardian.co.uk — see also Scientists Turn Tequila into Diamonds, physorg.com)

Image of Flips you can vote on, a device I’ve been really needing for no real reason lately.
Time is holding a poll for selected Best Inventions of 2008, though it’s difficult for me to write this after having clicked everywhere on the feature trying to find out when the damn poll ends so I can tell you… Still, Time already picked their very own winners and among them are the Retail DNA Testing Kit and the Tesla Roadster — kind of obvious choices, if you ask me. But still, I agree that some of the things they’ve picked are really cool. And I have to give them props for selecting inventions in their poll that are things available to the general public — unlike the Tesla — so actual users can vote for things like, say the Eye-Fi card (which I’m loving) or the Peek (which I would never want in my entire life). On reflection, looking at their items up for vote, I can’t help but wonder if whoever put together their list has been paying attention to Gizmodo or Engadget. Huh.

Image via Telegraph UK.
Chinese company Runto Sanitary Ware probably doesn’t see the same irony in their beautiful fish tank toilets as the typical American child who has held at least one open-casket funeral for their dearly departed Bitsy the goldfish. And the tanks look like they might be the fish equivalent of the Spanish Inquisition, considering not only what the fish will bear witness to, but then the tsunami afterward. But according to Telegraph UK, “The toilet has three separate tanks – one for water flowing in, one for water flowing out, and a third for fish and underwater plants – ensuring that the fish always have enough water to swim in, and are never sucked into the bowl.” Phew! They also state that the LED lights will save on energy, and household water consumption will be minimized.
I’ll admit that I really want one — and they are available for purchase — dig the Mickey Mouse lid and accompanying text, “Tender night light add more love and considerable; Western sentiment and eastern culture mixed reasonable, combine with nobleness and fashion.” But I don’t think I want a fishtank Squat Pan. However, it would be neat to see more things like this in public restrooms:

Image by Paul Gillett.