Meghan McCain’s Christmas Artillery

You know, you find out some completely random stuff when you start leapfrogging around Twitter on Christmas.

Having somehow missed the fact that the Meghan McCain, the 26-year-old conservablogger spawn of don’t-ask-don’t-tell hater John McCain, wrote a 2008 children’s book called My Dad, John McCain (or maybe not having cared enough to remember it), I’m just now given to understand that while I was sleeping off my electoral hangover, the littlest McCain has become a voice for “progressive” members of the Republican party.

Should you worry that conservative females are merely sock puppets for a male-dominated party run by brain-dead sexist pigs and packed with retrograde thinking, Ms. McCain’s popularity proves the importance of women in Republican politics. Her progressive conservative ideas engender exactly the same support and attention that conservatives gave Sarah Palin:

Go ahead, pervert. Google it. I’m a Democrat, I would never.

Nor would my unwillingness to heap sexist bazoomba-searches even on a goofy figure like the pro-gay, anti-Arizona-immigration-law McCain, be paired with a willingness to treat her any more seriously than I would treat any conservablogger. My refusal to treat her as a piece of Google Meat, the way I might be tempted to treat, say, a female particle physicist, robot engineer, parachutist or computer hacker would not be altered by the fact that Ms. McCain doesn’t like Ann Coulter, is lukewarm on the Palinmonster and was apparently sent to her room by the conductors of her father’s wet hot steaming godawful indecisive bloody slaughtered mess of a presidential campaign.

Am I swayed by the strangely telling fact that that last article, in which she, conveniently after-the-fact (like ALL insiders in failed presidential campaigns), reveals the split between her father’s campaign and herself, was in the New York Times’ Fashion & Style section, a fact that might annoy Hillary Clinton? Am I swayed by Luisita Lopez Torregrosa’s assertion that McCain is a cultural force on par with Palin, Lady Gaga, Steig Larsson’s fictional bisexual computer-hacking protagonist Lisbeth Salander and (uhhhh….) Julian Assange’s reputed sexual assault victims?

Not at all.

After all, God and I have a deal. Every time I say ANYTHING nice about a conservative, He kills as many kittens as He can get His hands on. And the Big Cheese can generally get His hands on a whole lot of kittens, on pretty short notice. So don’t think I’m saying anything nice about McCain at all.

But what I will say something nice about is the delightful weapon McCain got from Santa for Christmas:

I am charmed, I tell you, charmed, to know that Twitter feels duty-bound to warn me this tweet might have “offensive media” attached to it. Far from being offended by the “Liberal Media” McCain posted, I am excited to hear the Republicans are boning up on their single-action shooting for the ’12 campaign, when hopefully lots of Republican “cowboys” will intelligentize the political discourse.

Surely Ms. McCain will then get to prove whether or not she’s as much of a “double action” maverick as her father — ie, whether she’ll go ape-shit over how much she loves Palin in order to make nice with the “party faithful,” exactly the way her father did with George W. Bush after the 2000 campaign. Anyway, it’s a .45 Long Colt Ruger Vaquero, blued. Check it:

Photo from Meghan McCain's Twitter/YFrog posting.

That’s a tasty game-getter. Lets hunt some elephants!

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