I am kind of late to the Honey Badger parade, apparently. The video above showed up, like, earlier this year or something, and has been making its don’t-give-a-shit rounds throughout the internet, leaving a trail of cobra parts and half-consumed honeybee larvae.
It missed me before now, however. I finally stumbled across Honey Badger and said “WTF!?!? Whoa! What’s that?” and Honey Badger responded by cheerfully chewing a hole through my midsection and beating my face in. You think Honey Badger gives a shit? No. Honey Badger doesn’t give a shit. A few choice observations by the Marlon Perkins of slaughter:
Ew! AND it eats snakes? Oh my god! Ew, it’s nasty. It’s so nasty. You think Honey Badger cares? It doesn’t give a shit. How disgusting is that? It eats larva. Oh, what a crazy fuck!
The drama of Honey Badger’s fight with the cobra must be watched and re-watched to be appreciated, as must its venom-induced post-combat nap. “Look at that sleepy fuck!”
Honey Badger is my hero.
And you know what? Honey badger would probably smack me for saying that. And you for reading it. And everyone else for being on the web in the first place. Honey badger would just smack us all upside the head for being there to smack. Did I mention Honey Badger is my hero?
And you know what I say to Honey Badger?
I say, “Thanks, stupid, thanks for the post, see you later!”